Select A Good Dating Site.....

You’ve been looking for just the right person to explore a relationship with but you can’t seem to find them. Going to social get-togethers and saying yes to your friend’s set-ups have been fun, but they aren’t offering the kind of person you’d like to explore a long term future with.

Online dating is a way that you may be able to expand the pool of potential relationship opportunities. If you’ve watched any television lately you know there are many sites available offering relationship advice and possible connections, but which is the best for you. Each of us is, of course, a little different so consider these thoughts as you go about deciding which online dating site will work for you.

Safety

It would be safe to say that just about everybody has heard about identity theft in today’s society. Even before you begin the process of online dating and accepting advice on dating, you should be aware that as soon as you enter some piece of information and hit “return” ,that information is out there never to be taken back. Right from the very start you should be absolutely sure that you want that piece of information available to the world.

If a site asks for… Just Don’t

As you investigate the dating sites out there know rule number one; if a site asks for your identity number (social security number) do not give it over, look for another site. If a site asks for a telephone number; do not give it over, look for another site. If a site asks for your street address; do not give it over, look for another site.

Costs

Decide whether you would like to pay a fee for the use of an online dating service and the dating tips that they will give. There are many good sites out there that offer great match opportunities and relationship advice for free. The overall services that the pay sites may offer could be more numerous then the free sites but that does not necessarily mean that they have a better success rate.

Services

The benefit of services really depends upon how selective you would like to be in your search for the right person. Each site available has a certain set of services that they offer. These services are for you to select your match and to get to know that match. Selecting a site that offers a lot of services depends on what makes you comfortable in getting to know the other person. Some of the services offered include: social groupings, photo, age, sex preference, regional groupings, advice on dating and other preferences.

Contact Procedures

Getting to know somebody online is one thing but meeting them for the first time in person or over the phone is quite another. Check to see if the site has a procedure where you can take the next step with a certain amount of safety built in. For example: can you speak with your online contact over the phone without either of you knowing the phone number of the other person?

Membership

Check out the membership of the online dating site. In many instances, the site will open itself up to a little poking around. See if the membership has a good representation in your region and if they are largely; young, older, divorced, professional or religious etc. Oddly, international representation can be a good indicator of a sites’ validity. Although there are exceptions, if a site has a large international representation you may want to be a bit more careful about your selection process. This is because some of the matches may have ulterior motives. These matches will also require a few international dating tips.

Ease Of Use

You’ll just have to figure this one out for yourself. Every site will be set up a little different from the others in how they are structured. In a certain sense, this is a good thing for you. If you feel comfortable with the site structure and your match feels comfortable you already have a certain similarity in how you think and work. The closer you get to similar thought patterns the fewer dating tips you will need.

Professionally Oriented

Think about how the site is set up to do business. After all, a majority of sites are trying to make a buck. If the site is set up in a professional looking way and responds to your questions regarding relationship advice or match selections the site is likely genuine in its desire to match you up. If the site is a jumble of personal ads with little structure you may want to give it a closer look before you get involved.

Success Rates

Start by asking friends that may have used the site. Ask if they have had a certain amount of luck meeting decent people. If they have, you may have similar luck. Another option, although it is wise to be a bit skeptical, is to ask for testimonials. It may be difficult to figure out who is sincere and who is not but listening for pat answers or inflections in their voices may help to weed out the less sincere couples. You might also ask them for advice of dating when using the service. This is new territory for you so asking how the process worked for them is a good idea.

Does The Site Offer Advice?

Dating advice, relationship advice or other tips that can help you along are good indicators of a site that really wants you to succeed. You are really looking for a partnership with the site as much as with a relationship partner. In many ways, it is a lot like interviewing for a job. If somebody offers advice you at least listen. You may not use the job or dating advice but every little tip could help.

What Do You Really Want?

This could be quite a bit trickier to answer then you may think. Having an idea of what you want and what will work can be a lot different then what will actually make the best match. If a site offers a personality or matching test, be honest with whom you feel you really are. There is really no sense in lying to yourself and wasting everybody’s time in the process.

How To Make Successful Online Relationships.....

Finding a person online that intrigues you enough to pursue an online relationship is difficult. Once you have found that person you need to revisit the age old issues of developing that relationship. In many respects, some may say that online relationships are easier then in person relationships. But, in reality it is pretty much the same, just a little bit more removed. Dating tips are essentially the same, but they are a little more subtle then if you are face-to-face. Take into account the following things before indulging yourself into online relationships :

Safety

Even if the person sounds fantastic online you must be aware that there are some people out there that are being all you want them to be, but with ulterior motives. The very first piece of online dating advise is to not to give the person on the other end any numbers like telephone or PIN numbers regardless of how good they sound.

Be Honest With Yourself

Relationship advice is always a bit suspect because we are all a bit different. Dating advice from one person to another only reflects that one person giving the dating advice and not necessarily how it applies to you. Always take advice on dating and apply it, with modification, to who you are. Don’t fudge about who you truly are, it will only come back to haunt you later on.

Slow and Steady

One dating tip for a quality online relationship is to take it slow. Some might more aptly call this dating tip the restriction of to-much-information (TMI.) You do not need to have an online relationship develop 100 percent in one or two weeks. Let the personal information out slowly. A little mystery will go a long way to building the relationship.

Inflection

This particular piece of online dating advice is one item that requires a bit of work. Voice inflection when online is lost. Inflection is one of those things that we really take for granted. Quite a bit of meaning is lost without it. If you are sarcastic (like me) you can quickly lose somebody on the other end if they don’t know how the words are intended. This is one of the reasons that the LOL and smile face type notations have come about. The problem is, many people find these notations a bit “cutesy.” The online dating advice here is to use words to explain your inflection rather then symbols. So, if sarcastic, simply insert (sarcasm) into the text or use uppercase (OH BOY!!!) for very happy or (OH BOY) for can you believe what he did.

Conversation

Most people say that the art of conversation is dead. In a certain sense this also applies to online dating. Using text abbreviations and assumptions make online relationship building even more impersonal then it already is. This particular piece of online dating advice could be applied to regular relationship building as well. Use simple but descriptive whole worlds to describe what you are discussing. The right word will say quite a bit about who you are. For example: I like kayaking because of the way the paddle slips into the calm water works better then paddling is relaxing. You will come off as a bit more refined rather then just another person online.

Don’t Impose

This is perhaps the hardest piece of advice for dating online to get used to. It is so easy to use a word that imposes a thought, belief or need onto another person without even knowing that you are doing it. If there is one thing that will stop an online relationship dead in its tracks it is imposing yourself on another. Once your online relationship progresses a bit you may loosen up a bit with this piece of relationship advice but until then always defer to the other person in the way you phrase a sentence. Make sure you make it known how you feel, but be sure that the wording reflects the other person’s ability to disagree or agree.

Be Positive

Nobody likes a “gloomy Gus” when they get online. They really don’t want to be in an ongoing relationship with such a person, unless they happen to be a gloomy Gus. Stay up beat when you are writing with your online friend. Sure, everybody has their down days, and that is fine to share. It shows that you are becoming comfortable with that person. If there starts to be a pattern, however, you may want to assess what is going on with yourself personally or with a friend but there is really no need to share it online. If your assessment leads to a life change for the better…well, that is a great thing to share. Relationship advice or not, good news is a turn on for most.

Be Open Ended

Just about everybody has heard the phrase “leave them wanting more.” This holds true for online dating. You might think about your daily online conversations or your longer term relationships as a multi-course dinner. Always leave the person salivating for the next course. One of the better ways to do this is ask a question or two that requires a little thought or research. This will let them have something to bring to the table for your next conversation. This would also apply to you. Indicate that you will look into something and let them know what you find the next time you write.

Meeting For The First Time

The big piece of online dating advice here is to meet in a busy place. All the online chat in the world won’t substitute for the first meeting and a true assessment. Try to stay relaxed. Listen, but be able to carry the conversation. Stick to areas where you can find help quickly. Call me a bit of a cynic but safety first.

Most Importantly Be Yourself

How many times have you heard that one? Fortunately or not, the statement does ring particularly true for online relationships. A certain amount of “you” will seep into the online relationship whether you like it or not but try for being true to yourself all the time. Faking who you are will doom the relationship, unless you really didn’t want an online relationship in the first place. If you swear quite a bit in life, go for it (just use symbols so as to not offend to much.), if you happen to be one of those folks that dots their “I’s” with a heart go for that as well. Be who you are and the need for online relationship advice will go away fairly fast.